Snake News: “Fuck Headlines Then Pay Their Child Support!”

Fictionally Written By Jebidiah Viper,
High-Holy Priest Of The Glory Holes.

So, the day started out being a heel the moment I decided to get drunk at ten o’clock in the morning. Being drunk wasn’t the problem, though: the problem arose when I decided to walk into area littered with vegan hipsters. Since I was drunk, I only saw food as food, so I ended up eating some organic crap that didn’t sit well in my stomach. And unfortunately, the tag line for my profession isn’t exactly far off, because the toilet I ended up kneeling at happened to have a glory hole. The dude ended up confessing his kink to have his dick puked on, which only made me blow more chunks. Small part of me felt bad, but I wasn’t in the mood to blow him.

Aside from what’s going on in my life, the life a prominent actor, I’ll call him Mr. Spiked Butt-Plug, decided that it was his business to stop a fraking operation. To the dismay of the townsfolk, he was successful, and when asked if it was right for him to stop somet…
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